裁判吹黑哨的十大可能現象…haha

letterman

David Letterman的Top ten list,是在美國CBS電視台廣受歡迎的節目之一,好像已經作了十幾年,專門拿各種人物和事件來開玩笑,博君一笑。最近他也針對NBA裁判Tim Donaghy吹黑哨的事件來了這麼一段:

Top Ten Signs A Referee Is Fixing Games
裁判吹黑哨的十大可能現象

10. He leads the league in blocked shots
他的阻攻次數高居全聯盟第一
9. When talking about the Spurs, he says “we”
提到馬刺時,他總是說:「我們…」
8. After 6 seconds, calls a 24-second violation
6秒鐘之後就吹了24秒進攻時限違例
7. He’s drawing up plays
裁判自己畫起戰術來了
6. Befores tipoff, scoreboard reads 58 to nothing
開賽之前,計分板就顯示58比0
5. Teams have scored a record number of two-pointers, three-pointers and eight pointers
該季球隊的兩分球、三分球和八分球命中數都破紀錄
4. Tossed one of the other officials out of the game
將另一名裁判驅逐出場
3. Has Eddie Brill’s telephone number on speed dial
快速撥號名單上有Eddie Brill(和Letterman搭檔演出的脫口秀藝人)
2. Miami Heat hasn’t lost a game since Shaq promised to help the referee’s fat son
自從俠客答應裁判幫他的胖兒子減肥,熱火隊就沒輸過球
1. The Knicks are winning
尼克開始贏球了!

Letterman是印第安那州人,本身也是印州Ball State University畢業的,電視生涯從印第安那發跡,最後才殺進紐約,所以印象中他特別喜歡拿印第安那大學前教練Bob Knight和Purdue大學前教頭Gene Keady來開玩笑。下面這一段也蠻有趣的:


「你已經看太多籃球的十大症狀」:
Top Ten Signs You’ve Been Watching Too Much Basketball (1998)

10. Your skin has turned orange and bumpy
9. After an enjoyable meal, you celebrate by cutting down the ceiling fan
8. You’ve named your kids Gonzaga and Valparaiso
7. Every couple of days you update your tattoo of the 64-team tournament bracket
6. Make up your own “35-second shot clock in the bedroom” joke
5. You actually know how to spell “Krzyzewski”
4. Instead of telling kids bedtime stories, you summarize beer commercials
3. You’ve worn out 3 La-Z-Boys in 2 weeks
2. You got sent home from work again for showing up in nothing but a well-placed “Go Hoosiers” sign
1. After watching 9 hours of basketball on CBS you swear you saw a show with a talking baby

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